7.27.2015

Huckabee Last Seen Running from Men with Nets Before Entering Fox News Building

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, GOP presidential candidate and former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee was in New York City where hundreds of people witnessed him running from three men with nets before entering the News Corp. Building, which hosts the main studios of Fox News. Since that time, there has been a large police and medical presence outside the building, and Fox News has announced it is giving Huckabee "sanctuary from public health officials in general, but especially mental health experts."

"After his recent behavior on the campaign trail, Mr. Huckabee was urged by multiple mental health physicians and his family to check himself into Bellevue Hospital. Mr. Huckabee refused to do so, and his immediate family went to court to have him involuntarily committed," stated New York City Police Commissioner William J. Bratton.

Huckabee at 2014 CPAC in Maryland. (PHOTO: Gage Skidmore)

Bratton added, "Somehow, even though Mr. Huckabee was not present in the court room, he learned the court had ruled in his family's favor. Men with nets were dispatched to capture and escort him to Bellevue, but he was 'crazy fast' and made it into the studios of Fox News. I will now give psychiatrist Dr. Hugo Eagle the floor."

"Over the last year, Mr. Huckabee's mental health has deteriorated at a shocking rate, and running for president has only accelerated this. He has compared the Ferguson protesters to 'lynch mobs,' defended the child molester Josh Duggar, and compared Obama to Hitler for trying to avoid war with Iran," explained Dr. Hugo.

Hugo continued, "Mr. Huckabee is highly dangerous to himself and others, and he is in exactly the wrong place if his mental condition is to be improved. He literally could not have picked a worst place to hide from us than at the studios of Fox News, which is refusing to release him."

Fox News released a statement that it would consider giving Huckabee up if "authorities promised not to take Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Geraldo Rivera, or anyone who has hosted 'The Five.'"

Negotiations are ongoing.

DISCLAIMER NOTICE:

The Nil Admirari is "America's Most Swell News Source" of the spurious variety.