7.27.2015

Chris Christie Yells at One Millionth American, Cites "Bully Diary"

ANKENY, IOWA (The Nil Admirari) - Yesterday, Republican presidential candidate and Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie yelled at his one millionth American, but did not know it until this morning when he updated his "Bully Diary," which records his yelling exploits. The lucky American to be shouted down by Christie for approximately five minutes was an unidentified gun rights activist, who decided to challenge Christie's record on guns.

"You know, that guy yesterday was a real jerk for challenging my record on guns, which has changed since 1995 when I criticized a political opponent for wanting to repeal the assault weapons ban in New Jersey. Jerk totally deserved to be the one millionth American I yelled at," stated Christie, who held up his "Bully Diary" for the press to see.

Governor Chris Christie speaking at the 2014 CPAC in Maryland. (Above)
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

Christie added, "As Governor of New Jersey I have made sure to veto every piece of sensible gun control legislation. Everything from a statewide gun identification system to bans on certain gun calibers and magazine sizes have been killed by me."

Governor Christie gave a reporter permission to speak to him, and she asked if had he noticed many in the crowd were shuffling uncomfortably in their seats as he yelled at the gun rights activist.

"You know, I think the crowds love the experience. If they are lucky I will be standing next to Trump at the first debate," replied Christie. "Now are there any questions for me that are not stupid?"

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