U.S. Tries to Be More Stupid than Russia is Crazy Over Ukraine

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - The United States announced today is was putting "great effort" into "being more stupid than Russia is crazy" by risking war with Russia over Ukraine. President Obama said his administration would continue sending American military forces to NATO members in Eastern Europe so long as Russia continued to deploy more troops on its border with Ukraine.

"We are very optimistic the reactionary military buildups between the United States and Russia will not result in a war with Russia. Putin is a reasonable man and realizes a war with America would be a disaster," explained President Obama in response to concerns by many experts who are afraid a simple mistake could trigger a war.

Putin - who recently announced he was constructing over 40 nuclear intercontinental ballistic missiles (ICBMs) this year - was quick to reply to Obama's characterization of him as a "reasonable man."

Obama and "reasonable man" Putin. (Above) (Photo: Associated Press)

"Oh, I'm reasonable. If I decide to take Ukraine, the United States has a choice between starting a war with Russia and forcing us to destroy its military forces in Eastern Europe with tactical nuclear weapons, or letting me get away with it like they did with Crimea," stated Putin.

Putin added, " It's only Ukraine."

The major European members of NATO asked both Russia and the United States if they were listening to its pleas for a peaceful solution, but neither replied.