6.12.2015

Santorum to Buy Minivan to Meet with All of His Iowa Supporters

IOWA (The Nil Admirari) - Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has been meeting with large crowds of supporters numbering from one to as many as five people at diners and other venues across Iowa.  In order to accommodate such numbers, the former Pennsylvania senator announced today he will be purchasing a minivan so he can meet with all of his supporters in the Hawkeye State.

"Everything is going great and exceeding my wildest expectations. I love these intimate gatherings where I can talk directly with Iowans and am excited to buy a minivan so I can meet with all of my supporters in Iowa," said Santorum.

Rick Santorum on Wikipedia
Rick Santorum speaking at the 2015 CPAC in Maryland on 2.27.2015. 
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

Santorum did not seem to hear a question from a member of the press about his lagging poll numbers in Iowa and other states.

"Oh, boy. Listen to that crowd," stated Santorum.

Santorum hinted a second minivan may be needed for all of his supporters in New Hampshire.

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