Obama Weather Machine Blamed for Texas and Oklahoma Floods

DALLAS, TEXAS (The Nil Admirari) - A perfect storm of conservative talking heads announced today the "Obama Weather Machine" was responsible for the heavy rains that have caused deadly flooding in Texas and Oklahoma. The story riled up conservatives so much Fox News was forced to run with it this afternoon.

"There is an Obama Weather Machine out there and it has forced proud Texans to ask the federal government for help. This was all President Obama's plan from the beginning so he could declare martial law and forcible immunize your children," stated radio show host Alex Jones.

A resident of Gainesville, Texas is stranded by flooding caused by heavy rains
caused by the Obama Weather Machine. (Photo: Tony Gutierrez/Associated Press)

Glenn Beck also condemned the Obama Weather Machine on his own radio show and added, "Anyone who accepts help from Washington is only helping President Obama send Americans to FEMA death camps. The liberal Obama Weather Machine strikes again!"

Rush Limbaugh threw out some theories about how the Obama Weather Machine worked.

"The Obama Weather Machine is powered by feminism, socialism, gays, minorities, climate change scientists, and Ruth Bader Ginsberg," said Limbaugh.

Fox News has defended running the Obama Weather Machine story by saying it was equally or more credible than any of the other stories it runs.