6.10.2015

Obama Considering Offer from Mexico to Purchase Texas

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - President Obama announced today he was "carefully considering" an offer from Mexico to purchase Texas. Obama told Texans he probably would not sell their state to Mexico, despite all the Texas-related guff he has had to contend with.

"Just because Texas is a huge pain in my ass doesn't mean I am going to sell it to Mexico. At least not at the opening offer I received from Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto," stated Obama.

Obama declined to say how much the offer was, but did claim it was too low "even for Texas."

"I know there are a lot of good people in Texas and the loud ones just get all of the attention. But one minute the crazies are claiming I am going to declare martial law in Texas, and the next they are asking me for help after some deadly flooding," explained Obama.

The flag of Texas. (Above)

The president added, "So do you hate government or only hate government when people other than you benefit from it? It may not even matter soon if you all become Mexican citizens."

Obama calmed himself about the hypocrisy in Texas and said he was "pretty sure" he did not need Congressional approval to sell Texas.

Negotiations between the United States and Mexico are ongoing and President Obama also hinted he may seriously consider an offer from Spain to purchase "huge headache" Florida.

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