6.17.2015

Gay Americans Take Responsibility for Tropical Storm "Bill"

TEXAS (The Nil Admirari) - The gay community in America today took credit for Tropical Storm "Bill." The tropical depression was released upon Texas on Tuesday afternoon, and is expected to cause major flooding.

"Gay America is more than happy to take credit for Tropical Storm Bill and the heavy flooding it will bring Texas and Oklahoma. Religious conservatives have not overstated our control over the weather," stated American gay activist Dan Savage.

Tropical Depression "Bill" Radar, Flood Alerts (Photo: The Weather Channel)

Texas Governor Greg Abbott declared a state of emergency and demanded gays in America stop the tropical depression from bringing more flooding to his state.

"Tropical Storm Bill can easily be dissipated if only America's gays would do what is right, and as governor I order them to dissolve the storm," said Abbott.

America's gay community announced a deal could be made in exchange for certain concessions related to civil liberties, but Abbott stated he "would rather have all of Texas underneath the Gulf of Mexico."


DISCLAIMER NOTICE:

The Nil Admirari is "America's Most Swell News Source" of the spurious variety.