6.13.2015

Chris Christie Says "College Students Should Be Debt Slaves"

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie stated America should not invest in its college students. The probable Republican presidential candidate also stated "whiny" college students should not ask the government for help with the increasingly exorbitant cost of higher education.

"Why should our college students get any financial help from the government? Investing in them is a waste of government money, and the liberal way of doing things," stated Christie.

The governor added, "I don't believe it is the role of the government to help its citizens."

Governor Chris Christie speaking at the 2014 CPAC in Maryland. (Above)
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

Christie ignored questions about how he would address the ever-rising cost of higher education.

"American college students should be debt slaves to the predatory for-profit businesses they are coerced to take loans from. Students will be happier if they must continue living under their parents' roof and get stuck at a job they hate due to crippling student loan debt," said Christie.

Governor Christie also took the opportunity to chastise Western Europe for giving college students "education subsidies" that recognized students there as the future of the community.

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