6.17.2015

BREAKING: Boehner Breaks Obama's Arm in Basketball Match

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) broke President Obama's right arm this afternoon when a friendly one-on-one basketball match at the White House became heated. The increasingly physical play started after Obama mocked Republicans for the Supreme Court case King v. Burwell, which could take healthcare away from over six million Americans.

"You jackasses don't think anything through, do you?" asked President Obama, according to an anonymous source inside the White House. Obama was allegedly pushing Boehner.

Initial reports also claimed Boehner's face grew red as the Speaker started using his elbows against President Obama.

Speaker Boehner and President Obama. (Above) (Photo: AP)

Obama reportedly continued chiding the Speaker and added, "Just a bunch of children who mock people who actually do things and don't care how many people you screw. No... You are worse than children. Just a bunch of clowns, especially that lying SOB Paul Ryan."

Boehner lunged at Obama, hitting the basketball out of Obama's hands and knocking over the Speaker's nearly empty bottle of Jim Beam. Witnesses stated Boehner "really went apeshit" and tackled President Obama, who fell awkwardly on his right arm.

President Obama was rushed to George Washington University Hospital and Speaker Boehner followed in an ambulance "due to injuries related to the Secret Service response."


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