6.30.2015

Bobby Jindal to Perform Exorcism on Donald Trump's Hair

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Louisiana Governor Piyush "Bobby" Jindal announced today he intended to perform an exorcism on the hair of fellow Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. The exorcism on the demon-possessed locks was requested by Trump, who heard Jindal had performed an exorcism on a friend while he attended Brown University.

"My hair has been making me say and do things no rational person would ever say or do. I woke up one day and learned I was running for president as a Republican. Yesterday, I woke up and discovered I had been dropped by NBC for calling all illegal Hispanic immigrants killers and rapists," stated Trump.

Piyush "Bobby" Jindal speaking at the 2015 CPAC in Maryland on 2.26.2015. 
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

Trump said he was "deeply concerned" for the safety of those around him, but also buoyed by Jindal's positive outlook and excitement about battling the demon inside his hair.

"I can smell the sulfur in Donald's hair from across the room. He will be restrained so I can combat the powerful demon inside his hair without him trying to run away from me," explained Jindal.

Trump and Jindal both confirmed they were not opposed to being running mates after the exorcism.


 

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