6.25.2015

Bill O'Reilly Claims to Have "Three to Five Black Friends"

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Fox News talking head Bill O'Reilly claimed he had "three to five black friends" so everyone should "shut their trap," because he had the credentials to talk about race relations in America. O'Reilly needed two days of constant public pressure to recall how many black friends he had after political pundit Kirsten Powers asked him that very question on "The O'Reilly Factor."

"Listen, I am one of the best experts on race relations in America due to the three to five black friends I totally have. And they are just lovely, lovely people," said O'Reilly.

Fox "News" Loose Canon Bill O'Reilly. (Above)

An unidentified member of the press asked O'Reilly who his black friends were and how they made him an expert on race relations in America.

"Uh... Jamal White... you know, I don't have time for this bullshit. I have to prepare for tonight's show about how blacks in America have it so good," replied O'Reilly.

After an exhaustive search, TNA was unable to find anyone of any race who was Bill O'Reilly's friend.

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