5.22.2015

"Totally-Not-Gay Christian Leaders of America" Founded

CHATTANOOGA, TENNESSEE (The Nil Admirari) - A group of conservative Christian leaders announced the founding of a group called the Totally-Not-Gay Christian Leaders of America (TNGCLA) today. The nonprofit organization's primary mission will be to fight the gay civil rights movement while making it clear to everyone none of its upstanding members are gay.

"The Totally-Not-Gay Christian Leaders of America will be working tirelessly to fight against gay marriage and other gay rights issues," stated TNGCLA Communications Director Ben Neely.

A flag initially considered by the TNGCLA until the
group discovered it was already being used. (Above)

Neely continued, "And we will call gay sinners out at every turn for their wicked, kinky, and oh... is.... is it hot in here?"

All reporters present agreed that it was not.

"Okay then. Where was I?" asked a flushed Neely. "Oh yeah, the blasphemous and ungodly acts of homosexuals who go at each other like ravenous animals in the night and... oh my..."

The press conference ended abruptly due to Neely's need to "consult Jesus and call his wife and children."

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