"The NRA feels the best way to honor our fallen heroes on Memorial Day is to randomly deliver a wide range of loaded guns to Americans who are non-members," stated LaPierre.
Wayne LaPierre. (Above) (PHOTO: Reuters/Jim Urquhart)
LaPierre shot his rifle into the air to bring some Second Amendment order to the press pool and its barrage of questions.
"What? Background checks? Nope. We didn't do any of that since it would defeat the purpose of recognizing those who died to protect our Second Amendment right to bear arms," said LaPierre.
Police departments across the country refused to comment on a sudden and extraordinary increase in gun-related crimes on Memorial Day.