5.29.2015

Nearly Every Republican Too Cowardly for 2012 is in for 2016

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) -  Republican National Committee (RNC) Chairman Reince Priebus announced today that nearly every Republican too cowardly to challenge Obama in 2012 is in for 2016. Priebus assured Americans there would be no more than 400 additional Republicans running for president and "only two or three" would be familiar to Americans.

"Most Republicans not stupid enough to run against Obama in 2012 are very excited about actually having a chance to win in 2016. They also look forward to characterizing Hillary Clinton as a fascist-communist while also making cases for how all their Republican opponents are glaringly unqualified," stated Priebus.

Priebus at the Western Republican Leadership Conference in October 2011.
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

Priebus was asked by an unidentified member of the press what Republican candidate he thought was the most qualified to be president.

"That is not my decision to make. It really depends on who has the richest donors and the most effective attack ads," replied Priebus.

Chairman Priebus expressed excitement for "the great potential" of Republican attack ads if New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, and former Florida Governor Jeb Bush decide to run.

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