5.31.2015

GOP Unveils "Say Good Bye Program" for Illegal Immigrant Kids

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Republican Party announced a bold new community outreach initiative named the Say Good Bye to Mommy and/or Daddy Program. Called simply the Say Good Bye Program, it involves each Republican in Congress personally informing the US citizen children of illegal immigrants they must "say good bye" to one or both of their parents.

"I have already met some very nice Texans who are going to be deported tomorrow. But what really strikes me is how overwhelmed by emotion their American children are when they hear about our wonderful Say Good Bye Program," stated presidential candidate Senator Ted Cruz (TX-R).

Americans who support the Say Good Bye Program. (Above)
(Photo: Jose Luis Magana/Reuters)

If a child who is an American citizen is left with no guardian after deportations, a state's child protection program will take custody. The Say Good Bye Program does not apply to children who are illegal immigrants themselves and Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI01) stated, "those kids are illegal persons and gone."

Ryan also said children born in the United States to illegal immigrant parents should not worry too much about the separation.

"If I get my way it will be retroactively unlawful for children of illegal immigrants to become American citizens just because they are born here. So they will be reunited with family members very soon due to their new 'illegal immigrant' standing," explained Ryan.

In related news, Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) has stopped visiting the homes of illegal immigrants after several complaints he was "visibly drunk and singing La Cucaracha."



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