Biden: No Presidential Run, Americans "Too Stupid to Vote for Me"

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Nil Admirari) - Vice President Joe Biden announced today he would not be running for president in 2016. Biden blamed his fellow Americans for making a presidential run almost certain to fail.

"It all comes down to Americans being too stupid to vote for me," stated Biden.

The vice president was more than happy to elaborate at the request of the press and added, "It is those idiots in the 'red states' who, vote against their own economic well-being over and over again. Then they  wonder why they have less stuff than they did during the last election cycle and their standard of living is taking a nosedive."

Biden gives an opening statement at a Senate Foreign Relations Committee 
hearing on Iraq in 2007. (PHOTO: Public Domain)

"Surprise! It's the cuckoo bananas conservative policies that refuse to invest in common sense things like infrastructure and want to cut critical social safety net programs that you use, idiots!" chided Biden.

Biden threw his hands up in the air and stormed out of the press briefing "to blow off some steam."


The Nil Admirari is "America's Most Swell News Source" of the spurious variety.