4.30.2015

Hillary Clinton Invites Bernie Sanders to Concede

NEW YORK CITY, N.Y. (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton invited Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont to concede the party's nomination to her. Clinton had just finished giving a speech at Columbia University when she learned the independent senator from Vermont officially announced he was becoming a member of the Democratic Party in order to challenge her.


"I invite Senator Sanders to do what is best for America and concede the Democratic presidential nomination to me," stated Clinton. She sipped some water from a Hillary 2016 water bottle before adding, "He can show his patriotism and his love of democracy by allowing Americans to choose between me and whatever cuckcoo bananas clown the Republicans come up with."

Hillary Clinton and the man she invited to concede. (PHOTO: Getty Images)

Clinton began a walking press conference as she made way for her motorcade. "The Oval Office is mine, Bernie. Do not make me destroy you to get what is rightful mine and something I have done unspeakable things to have," she warned.

When a reporter asked Clinton to give an example or two of the "unspeakable things" she had done the presidential candidate seemed to walk a little faster before stating, "Bill is number one on that list, and then the whole Obama thing. And I'll be damned if some democratic socialist from Vermont is going to take it from me this time."


"Hear me, Bernie?" asked Clinton of her first challenger.  She stopped in front of an open door to the black vehicle she had arrived in. "I will scorch the earth and make sensible policies you agree with sound like they are the worst kind of communism, especially if you go after Wall Street. I can only go so far to the left to get what I want and you do not want to be in my way."

Upon hearing of Hillary Clinton's invitation for him to concede Sanders stated, "I'm coming for you and your super rich friends, Hillary. And I'm bringing a lot of pissed off people with me."


 

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