4.25.2015

Bobby Jindal Unveils His "Separate and Unequal Social Policy" for America

BATON ROUGE, LOUISIANA (The Nil Admirari) - Speaking at a Republican fundraiser earlier today Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal announced how disappointed he was with many conservative politicians in the country for running away from the fight to allow bigoted religious Americans to decline service to the LGBT community. A potential GOP candidate for president, Jindal gave Americans a preview of what his campaign's vision for the county would look like by unveiling his "Separate and Unequal Social Policy."

"If a Christian business owner disapproves of the way someone else lives or looks that Christian merchant has the religious right to decline service to that person," Jindal said to the two hundred or so rich donors in attendance. The governor gave someone in the audience a playful wave as he continued, "In fact, I think my Separate and Unequal Social Policy is exactly the direction America needs to go in if we are truly going to be the land of the free. Otherwise, every American will be protected under the law and forced to treat each other with dignity and respect, and that is just not the American way."

Piyush "Bobby" Jindal speaking at the 2015 CPAC in Maryland on 2.26.2015. 
(Photo: Gage Skidmore)

"Far too many religious Americans are being forced to do business with people who they believe are immoral and lesser people than they are. And unfortunately, our "conservative" friends in Indiana and Arkansas have failed to defend the Constitutional right of all Christian Americans to decline services to individuals they view as second class citizens," said Jindal. The large oak crucifix hanging behind him made his speech appear as if it was being given in a church rather than a Hilton Baton Rouge Capitol Center function room.

"Because what the liberals don't want Americans to know is the Bill of Rights ensures American Christians the freedom to be as prejudice as they like so long as it is done because of a citizen's deeply held religious convictions," charged Jindal as he wrapped up his speech. The governor waited for the applause he received to end before finishing. "Well I can tell you here and now the radical liberal vision for America where everyone is treated equally is not my vision for America. My vision for America is a country where the freedom to be prejudice against other Americans is the ultimate expression of religious liberty just as our Founding Fathers intended."

After his address Jindal returned to his seat and he was asked by one of the largest donors if his vision for America would allow Muslims to discriminate against Christians based on their religious beliefs.

"Ha! Oh, God no," replied Jindal.

Shortly afterward, dinner was served and the minimum wage waiter assigned to Jindal's table refused to serve the governor his meal. "My religion don't countenance me serving any black skinned individuals," waiter Darrel Mace explained to Jindal. It was later learned Mace was a member of a local Ku Klux Klan chapter.

A surprised Jindal replied, "I am not black. I am Indian, my parents came over from India."

"Well ain't that about the same thing?" asked Mace. He walked away without waiting for a reply from the governor.

Eventually, a waiter was found whose religion allowed Governor Jindal to be served dinner.


 

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